Man I guess should get this out

I don't know what my problem is. Lately, I have just been tired of stuff and feeling alone. I don't know if it is because I deal with things inside, the only person I tell almost everything to is my mom. I am such a weak person and I know it and I can't stand it. Sometimes I have anxiety issues big time . I thought I had gotten over them, but no I haven't. I cry over the stupidest stuff that doesn't even affect most people. I feel guilty at the drop of a hat. Even church makes me guilty, there is always something more that you can do. I have OCD I developed it a couple years ago maybe even longer which makes many things harder then they need to be like leaving my house to go some where I am scared the house will burn down and it will be my fault. So I check electrical outlets. People expect a lot from a person and I try to be as perfect as possible, it must be catching up to me. Sometimes I just want to be alone physically. I am surrounded by my family yet I am alone on the inside. I am depressed most of the time. I just want to lay in bed and not leave. Most of the time I don't like my life. I am very hard on myself. I have the best time when I am with all my family they make me so happy. So yeah I know I should probably see a doctor and get put on medicine. I just feel like a nut case sometimes because I have anxiety attacks ( I haven't been diagnosed though) . I only have them when I have had enough or I can't take something anymore. I have gotten better,but I do have a few bad outbursts of crying and breathing strange. I used to do this when people would die,but now I do it when I have an anxiety attack I believe. I just have to get it out. It is like I can't use words to tell people how I feel I just keep it in until I am done with everything. Maybe now I will feel better. I just get so over whelmed with life and my life isn't even that stressful. I just feel like I can't really do much. I need to take life one day at a time. Thinking of everything I have to do stresses me out too bad. When will I ever be stronger?